August 14, 2012

August 14, 2012-Tuesday

5am

            I weighed this morning. 232.4 Same as last week. It might be the Allegra. I’m  not going to take that anymore, and see what happens.

            It’s either that, or I’ve reached my 1^st plateau. I don’t know how many a person can have, but I’m not going to quit, I’m just going to keep on keeping on.

            This is day 392, Week 56, Day 1. Gotta walk that 20 minutes everyday, and eat only 1200 calories or less each day. I might have to start walking morning and night. I don’t know about that just yet though, I might have to build up to that.

            I really think it’s the Allegra. So I’m not taking it this week, and seeing if there is a difference.

            I’m really thinking I should walk at least 10 minutes in the morning, and 20 minutes at night this week. Stretch everyday, as well.

            I’ll try it. So this morning, I need to be on the treadmill by 6:30, which gives me an hour and 15 minutes.

            I just posted on Facebook about my only 0.2 pound weight loss, which is what I lost, cause I weighed 232.6 last week.

            It would be so easy to say, to hell with it, I’m going to eat what I want, when I want it. But I don’t want to do that. I’m enjoying counting my calories, and making healthy choices. I’m enjoying not overeating, and feeling bad.

            I’m going to give it one more week without the aid of a diet pill. If I don’t lose any weight this week, I’m going to start taking the Xenadrine again.

            I was going to quit the blog, because I have private thoughts that Idon’t want to share, but today, my friend Whitney Valentine, encouraged me to keep doing it. She said she enjoyed my blog, and that really brings me encouragement, and pure joy.

            Thanks to friends like her, I’m going to keep at it.

            Brian got on the scale this morning, too, and he weighed the same as he did last week. I don’t know what happened, I really don’t. I think we’ve plateaued. We’re just going to have to work harder this week.

            I should be on the treadmill right this minute, but I’m not. Oh but I gotta. After this cigarette.

            I just got off the treadmill, walked 10 minutes, burned 63 calories.

            I know a protein shake is simple in the mornings, but I think we are going to have that oatmeal again for breakfast. My bananas are going bad, and need to be eaten right now.

            Today I’m going by Micheal’s Tire to see Lisa, and then up to Delhi Glass to see the ladies up there.  I need to call Aunt Marybeth today too, and see if I can stop by tomorrow.

            I feel that the tone of this blog is changing, to what I don’t know,  Which is why I felt that I should stop doing it. I don’t know where the Lord is leading me, or this blog, or what path me and all my faithful readers are going to go down together. It scares me a little bit, because it is so mysterious. But I trust in the Lord, that he is definitely leading me, and that whatever comes from Him, has got to be a good thing, and will only lead to good things in my life, and in others lives.

            So I take that step, and start down that road, as we all do, together.

            This morning, I took a step with the Lord. I couldn’t feel Him, at all, but I trusted He was there, and apparently He definitely is, always is, because when we took it, I felt the confirmation in my Spirit, that the step had been taken.  Usually, I can feel Him, but today I couldn’t, but trusted that He was there as always, and went together with Him.

            There’s no way I will ever take any real step without Him. I won’t try to step in front of him, or go on without Him. He’ll be there too, but I want to take the right steps, and I know when I step with Him, that it will definitely be the exact right step, as He guides me, and never lets me fall.

            Big dummy me, didn’t even realize that it was time for another step. I just didn’t give it any thought. I was just going to quit, without even thinking about it, or giving it any thought. I can be the stupidest, most unfaithful woman in the world. But thank the Lord Jesus Christ, that He is faithful, and instills goodness in me, and keeps me going.

            People come in our lives, like Whitney Valentine, and help guide us along the way, if we just won’t be hard headed, and listen to them.  Given in love, most advice has merit to it, though we may not agree with it at first, we should give it some thought, and thank the person for their thoughtfulness and care for us.

            I’m trying not to write about things that I don’t know about, so I’m just going to say that all I know is that I surround myself with good people, and therefore, they all give some good advice and encouragement. I have surrounded myself with not so good company before, and they offered bad advice, and I ended up on the wrong side of the road. Thank the Lord, there are good people in my life now, and I love them all!

            8:34am

            We are sitting at Mama’s, drinking coffee. Uncle Jay just left, and has a busy day ahead of him. Thankfully, the phones aren’t busy this morning, and I might actually be able to get some writing done today.

            I looked up information on plateaus, and found out that it’s not considered a plateau unless there has been no weight loss for 3 weeks. I also found out that in reaching my ideal weight, I may reach 2 or 3 plateaus. All I’m thinking now is that if I cut my calories any more than I have been, it’s going to be bad on me. So I’ll just exercise more, and hope for the best. Hopefully, it’s not even a plateau.

            They did say cut my calories by 200. Some days I go up to 1500 or more, so cutting them would bring me down to 1300, which isn’t so bad. So I renig my last statement, and will try to do better.

            I’m also thinking of adding weights. The Mayo Clinic says that the reason a person even goes into a plateau is because they lose muscle, and the muscle is the thing that burns all the calories.

            Now I realize, that in building muscle, I probably won’t lose weight as fast, because muscle weighs more than fat. In another article, they said that even while I’m in a plateau, that my body composition is changing, to just keep doing what I’m doing, and increase the exercise, and decrease the calories.

            This really makes me want to get a Bowflex, but the best one costs around three thousand dollars. The middle one costs 1500, so we might have to buy that one, for sure.

1:48pm

            Just got finished eating lunch. I had brought with me for today, some Cheese & Sausage Grits that I cooked out of my low cal cookbook, 233 calories. That was all well and good. The problem was, my Mama had cooked a big huge thing of red beans and rice yesterday, and I had been resisting it for 2 days, stating that beans make me gain weight, and I wasn’t having any.

            When I asked Brian if he wanted lunch, he said yes, but he wanted red beans and rice. This infuriated me, and I said to him that I hope he gains 5 pounds. I sat down with my grits, at the counter bar, and began eating. But I felt bad, I felt like I was dissing my Mama’s cooking, absolutely refusing her love and devotion to us all. So I caved, and decided I would have a tiny bowl of red beans and rice.

            It was a baby bowl, and I really think I did more good than harm eating it, accepting in love my Mama’s cooking, and not shunning everything, and saying no to certain foods. I probably had ¼ cup, and I am completely full, and everyone is happy.

4:01pm

            Just got finished with the 2^nd page of my 3^rd chapter of my book . So far, I’ve written 20 pages.  I want it to be at least a 300 page book, so I’ve still got 280 left to go. I’ve written these 20 in about 2 days, so if I write 10 pages a day, which is what I have been averaging these past 2 days, then I should be done in about 30 days, if everything works out okay. I’m not saying I can write 10 pages each day, but I sure am gonna try.

            Some of the things I’m writing about is really hard to go into while I’m writing, so I’m  just gonna have to take my time and plow through it. The Lord will pull me through it, because this is who He made me to be. He doesn’t feel very near today, but I know I can find Him, somewhere. He said draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you.

            I know he’s right here with me, I just may be walking in the spirit right now, which is new for me, but I trust Him, and will hold tight onto Him, and believe that He guides me all day, and that he is changing me, and I am growing in Him, even though I may not realize it. I will not turn away from God, because He is the entire reason for life, and for everything that is worth living to me. I love Him dearly, he is My God, my Jesus, my friend.

            The only thing I know to do, is to share with him my troubles, my joys, and read the Bible.

            Brian and I applied for a bowflex credit today, and though we don’t know if we’ve been approved or not, after talking with the Lord about it today, I understood that we didn’t need to spend 1700 dollars on such a thing.

            At first, it made me angry, that we couldn’t get it today, and I told the Lord I felt angry, because I knew He knew anyway, and being honest with Him would only change my feelings for the better. I began to see things His way, and soon I realized that we didn’t need a bowflex, that we could easily buy free weights, and a leg lifter, at much less expense, and we wouldn’t have a monthly payment of 100 dollars either.

            So in about 8 days, I’ll get my first check, and then we can get some free weights. I already have some 3 pounders, but I really feel I need a leg lifter, and some heavier weights for my arms. At the gym, I was working out with 5, 10, and 15 pounds, and Bri was working out with 15.25. and 35 pounds. We’ll probably be making a trip to Academy Sports very soon.

            It’s almost 5, and the phone just rang. Hopefully it’s someone we know, just calling to say hi, but it looks like it’s not.

            They are getting the roof and sides on Dad’s building, and then later this year, they will finish it up.

            Right now, they are looking to buy a work van for Uncle Jay to drive, and they have found a very cool van, one that I haven’ t seen before. It’s a Ford, and should be very dependable. I really think Uncle Jay will like it when he sees it, because it’s very interesting looking.

            I think they are checking ebay, searching for the best price. They always check their prices before they buy, and this is no different.

            Almost time to go home. The house is pretty much clean, I’ve still got a ton of laundry to do, but the kitchen, dining and living rooms are clean. I could always do the floors again, but I don’t think I’m going to do that today. I may sew, because I don’t have much left on Daddy’s quilt, and it needs to be finished.

            I haven’t had time recently, but tonight I think I will. I’ll throw on a load of clothes, make a protein shake for dinner, and get after it. I wonder what Mr. Sully has been doing today, and will do tonight. This morning he was jumping and running all over the house, his little kittie feet flying in the air, tail following straight up like a flag, behind him.

            Today I’ve had coffee (400) oatmeal (100) raisins (50) peanut butter (50) milk (100), red beans & rice (1/4 cup- 400) Vanilla diet coke (100) = (1200). Calories add up so quickly! I haven’t even eaten all that much today! And if I would only drink my coffee black, it would be a lot less calories. But I like my creamer, so I’m not willing to sacrifice it.

            I’ve had 1200 calories, and I burned off 67 this morning, walking for 10 minutes = (1130). When I get home, I’m going to walk another 20 minutes, for at least a mile, and burn at least another 120 calories, which will put me at (1010). My protein shake will be 340 so that’s 1350 calories for the day. That’s not too bad, at all.

            9:12pm

            My Lord God is so faithful. Tonight, for the first time in my life, I finished something I started.  My Dad’s blanket, that I’ve been working on since June, finally got finished. On the last stitch, the needle actually broke.

            I am so proud of myself right now. Just two days ago, I was praying to the Lord about being faithful, and here I am sitting here today, and have finished something I started. I have never done that before in my life!

            I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I trust the Lord my God, Jesus, that it will be wonderful and good, otherwise he wouldn’t have brought me here, and He wouldn’t have answered my prayer.

            I’m not the best person in the world, though many believe me to be a good person, and I try to be, but I am so ignorant to so many things. I am learning, slowly, that I don’t know much at all, though I had previously thought I knew so much.

            Time will tell where this all leads, but I trust in the Lord’s kindness, and friendship, and faithfulness to me. I just gotta keep going, make good choices, and the very best I can to stay close to the Lord, and not ever get confused by other things, because He is good, He is God, and He is worthy of all praise, and He will always be around, no matter who dies, or goes away.

            I’m sitting in Brian’s mancave tonight, trying to get on Facebook, but can’t because my service won’t let me. I didn’t get on much today, just first thing this morning, and I just checked my texts, and found that some of my friends had been messaging me. That’s what I get for not checking it all day. So I’m sorry to all ya’ll that I haven’t commented back, I didn’t expect it, to say the least.

            I just had a protein shake about 10 minutes ago, took my meds, and now that time of night, where you get settled in, and think about going to sleep, is upon me.

10:28 pm

            Well my facebook won’t let me do anything but look at it tonight. I can’t like anything or share a post or anything, and Ive been trying for the past hour, so I just give up. Either facebook is screwing up, or it’s my internet, or my computer, but it’s one of those, or maybe all 3.

            We are sitting in the bed. Brian is watching Lost, and I’m about to turn in for the night.  Looking forward to another wonderful, faithful day tomorrow.