August 25, 2012

August 25^th, 2012 – Saturday

       Finally. It’s Saturday. It’s been such a long hard week. But me and Brian and coming through it together.

       Oh the Love and Mercy of God. As Brian and I have been coming through this together, he has actually led me past a marker that I have been at for 10 years now, hung up, and didn’t know a way out. Brian started talking about how he wanted to go to heaven, and I felt the same and have felt the same for 10 years now. And I felt we were both just falling into a depression,  so both of us prayed to the Lord, and gave him that longing to go home, cause neither of us could deal with it.

       Then Brian started talking about reality, and how unreal it seems. He was really really struggling. I was there too, still there from Daniel, and we both prayed to want to know the reality, and for God to lead us through it, and show it to us, that we may be able to grasp reality, and gave it to HIM, because we couldn’t even begin to work that out, only God can and knows how.

       It says in the Bible that all things happen for the good of those who love the Lord, and it’s already happening in my life and Brian’s life, and for the first time in our marriage, we are actually of the same mind, at the same place. But we’d rather have David any day than this.

       Yesterday I got on the scale and it said 236.2. I took a fluid pill, cause my hands were so swollen, and this morning I just got on the scale and it said 230.6, so I’ve actually lost a pound from last week.

       This week I’m going to set my goal for 5 pounds, but if I lose 2-3 I’ll still be happy, and that’s realistic, but I like setting my goal at 5 pounds.

       Yesterday,  we went and saw Mama at home, and paid our bills there, cause she had our mail. We stopped by Bee Bayou (cannon’s) for a coke, and I got a boudin link & a corn dog, and Brian got a piece of pizza. We also stopped at Pilot and I bought some sweet & salty nut mix. And it had 900 calories for the whole bag, but I don’t know how many calories are in the boudin link and the corn dog.  Then we went by the bank, and Hancock Fabric, and I got all kinds of fabric for Brian’s quilt, and the material to finish Mama’s quilt too. After that, Brian was hungry so we went to El Chico in West Monroe. Brian ate, but I didn’t. I had a couple chips, but there was still a whole bowl at the end of the meal. Brian ordered the steak, and it had some good vegetables on the side, and I ate those, but that’s all I had yesterday.

       Brian decided to start smoking cigarettes at some point yesterday. When we got in the car after El Chico, he wanted a cigarette, and I told him no, and pleaded with him, but then soon realized after he said he’d buy a pack when I didn’t know about it, that if he wanted to smoke, he was going to smoke, and I’ve got to let him make his own decisions.

       In Mississippi, his cousin John Mac, showed him a picture of a man with his mouth eaten away from dip, so Brian got a little bit scared. I mean, cigarettes and dip can both kill ya. If he wants to smoke, let him smoke, it’s Brian’s life, and he gets to make his own decisions, and I’m not going to tell him he can’t, but I did tell him when we have kids, neither one of us is going to smoke, cause I don’t want our babies smoking.

       We went by Sam’s to get a membership there, but it must have been membership day at Sam’s, because everybody was in line for a card yesterday. Neither Brian nor I felt like standing in that line, so we decided we would just come back tomorrow, which is today now.

       Now that I think about it, it’s probably because it was a Friday, and everyone just got paid. And too, I’m not sure we are going to go today, cause I was just wanting some of their frozen food for the next couple weeks, something easy to pop in the oven or microwave, but I’m kinda feeling like cooking now, so we might just go to Super One later, and get a Sam’s Card and a freezer next month, since everything is in bulk.

       We are going to see Daddy at his camp today, cause we didn’t get to see him yesterday. He’s building a porch onto his deer camp, and we’re going to go check on the progress of that up in Collinston. He doesn’t know it yet though, so I’ve got to call him and make sure he’s around, and not out in the woods on his 4 wheeler later today.

       Mama’s staying at home today, and doing her statements for the month, and going to clean house. We plan on stopping back by there on the way back from Monroe, or wherever we go today.

       Our water pump is going out, and my Daddy & Mama have volunteered to get it fixed for us, and pay all the expenses. They spent all day Friday looking for us a service man to come out and fix it right, get us a  new pump, and water cylinder, and install it for us, bear no expense. My parents are so generous, and always make sure we have everything that we need. I pray that the Lord bless them, as they have blessed us. Daddy said there’s a lot of things you can go without, but water isn’t one of them.

       Until Monday or Tuesday, we will have to turn our pump off at night, and let it run during the day. Well both me and Brian forgot to turn it off last night, so we turned it off this morning after I made coffee, so I can’t really clean right now, for a few hours, so I guess I’ll sew some this morning instead.

       Mr. Sully is in the sliding glass doors, waiting for the sunshine to come on out today. I guess I’m going to have to put his harness on him and take him outside at some point so that he can breathe the fresh air and get some sunshine.

       We’ve got to mow today too, although I don’t think our ditches will be dried up just yet, so we’ll try to do those Sunday after church.

       I feel so much better, better than I’ve felt in 10 years, now that Brian and I have pulled through these things together. I think we are out of the woodshed, and I thank God that He pulled us through, and gave me Brian that would lead me out of it as well.

5:41 pm

       I just got back from Rayville, the Walmart to be exact. I had stopped by there to pick up some more rotary wheels, cause mine wouldn’t cut anymore, and ended up picking up way more than that. Today is Lenai’s birthday, so I picked her up a few things to give to her tomorrow, and some more thread, and a couple of grocery items.

       I saw Aunt Mary Beth and Aunt Becky as I was checking out, none of us looked particularly good, so we just chit chatted a minute, and looked at each other’s purchases, and then headed out into the rain to go back home.

       Brian didn’t go with me, because he didn’t feel like going anywhere today, so I just went, and I’m glad I did, because it felt good to get out of the house.

       I fought going, but as soon as I headed down the road, I realized it wasn’t so bad, and thought about driving to Sam’s, but when I got to Walmart, I realized that was just too far to drive today, and Brian will probably want to go when we go.

       I’ve had a protein shake today (340), and some peanuts (170), and some coffee (200) = 711 for the day so far, and I’m about to eat some rotel here in just a minute.

       I haven’t walked today, and I really need to get back on that treadmill, really really badly, but I just don’t know that I’m up for it, cause both me and Brian have been feeling kinda sickly.

       I’ve been sewing most of the day, though I did get a load of clothes washed, and am about to start back here in just a minute, and sew some more, and wash some more clothes.

       Brian is watching the Braves game now, and will watch the Cowboys tonight. I made him a patch with Cowboys/4leaf clovers, that will hopefully bring his Cowboys some luck this season. He says they don’t need luck, cause they are just that good, but he is apparently oblivious to their real athletic abilities on the field.