August 6^th, 2012- Monday

    It's Monday morning, and I am psyched for another work week.

    Me and Brian did fair this weekend, having around 1200 calories on Saturday, and around 2000 on Sunday.

    I blame Sunday's travesty on Brian, because he wanted that dang honey bun, which he and I both got, on the way to Mississippi. That one dang honey bun had 600 calories.

    We had to stop in Delhi, to air up our tire, in the hopes that it would ride all the way to Mississippi.

    By the time we reached Vicksburg, it was low again. We were planning on stopping in Vicksburg anyway, at the outlet mall, to pick up a birthday present for Auntie. But when we got there, they were closed, so we just stopped in the parking lot and aired up the tire.    

    I looked around a little bit while we were there, just window shopping, and next time I go shopping, I'm going to that outlet, cause there's a lot of good stuff over there, for cheap!! And I like cheap.

    It was raining outside, thank the Lord, cause we needed it, but we kept pressing on towards Delta City, Mississippi.

    In between Vicksburg and Delta City, the low air light came on again, and we had to stop on the side of the road in the rain and air it up. And Thank God, Mama had given us a plug in air pump.

    We made it to Delta City Baptist in one piece, and walked in and saw Auntie, and told her "Surprise!"

    Although we missed the big surprise, I think she was surprised to see us, cause she wasn't expecting us.

    We weren't even expecting us Sunday morning, we had plans to go to church. When I got Brian up, he petted the dogs and I was sitting here, and it was like my heart just said Elouise, and I got up to call her. We had plans to see them next weekend, and Auntie told me she had been putting up cantelopes and watermelons.

    Then she told me Todd, Brian's brother had been having trouble, so Brian called Todd, and by the end of the conversation, we found out about the surprise birthday party.

    Brian and I had plans to go to church, and were unsure whether we should miss it or not, so we sought the Lord's advice, and said a prayer together, and by the end of the prayer, we both felt that family was just as important as church, and we needed to go.

    And we had fun while we were there. I got to meet Beth, Macy, Ashley, and Patsy (Beth's Mother), for the first time. I was so impressed by Macy, a young lady, that has a beautiful voice, but who she is as a person, really really impressed me. If only I had that much sense and integrity when I was her age. She is definitely on the right path, and I pray to God that she stays on it.

    Corbin, our nephew, has also moved home, and the whole family is so glad, especially his mother, Kitty. He had been working off, but is now home, and working for a construction company. He and Brian are very close, like brothers, and we hope he will come stay with us some, when he has a chance, if we can ever get that spare bedroom set up.

    We spent most of our time sitting on the couch in the living room at Dad and Auntie's, visiting and enjoying each other's company.

    Brian pulled the car up to Dad's shop, and the men of the family all changed our tire and put on the spare, so that we could make it home safely.

    Tammy is 5 months pregnant, and we are all very excited for her, Todd, and Brett, and we can't wait to meet our new little nephew in 4 months!! It's going to go by really really fast, I just know it! Pretty soon we'll all be gathered around her in the hospital, purring over the new little baby boy!

    We also got to see Lacy, and Thank the Lord, she brought up Brian's driving. Brian and I have been fighting about how he can't drive for the past few months, and yesterday, the first thing Lacy said was, "Brian can't drive." She said I had the whole family to back me up on that, and I was so glad, because Brian is such a hard head when it comes to that subject. I told him, "If you would just admit you can't drive, maybe then you could learn to actually drive, and then be a good driver." But he won't, he won't admit it. So I continue to worry every time he gets in a car.

    At about 4pm, we left, and headed home, cause we needed to get home before dark, with that bad tire.

    My sugar started acting up by the time we reached Rolling Fork, and we thought about eating a hamburger, but I decided I could wait til Vicksburg, and we could go to a restaurant. Boy, how wrong I was, because I started getting dizzy, and feeling really strange and felt like something was attacking my heart, and Jesus saves my life everyday, cause he helped me make it to the Mexican Restaurant in Vicksburg.

    I was really really worried for my heart health. Still am, and I refuse to only eat sugar, no more honey buns, cause it liked to have killed me.

    The people at the restaurant were so nice, and had chips by the time I got back from the bathroom. I ordered a steak fajita, and Brian ordered his all time favorite, nachos. We ate, and I took my diabetes meds, and I felt better by the time we made it home.

We had to drive 50 mph all the way home. Taking interstate in Vicksburg was a bit of a pain, but we got off and got on HWY 80 at Delta, and took it all the way to Holly Ridge.

We stopped by to see Mama, and she was watching the Saints game. She hadn't been feeling good yesterday, but when we saw her she was in good spirits. Packed on the fire place, were 10 gillion tomatoes and fresh peaches. I can't wait til those peaches ripen, cause I love em, they are so good.

We had to make it home in time for Falling Skies, so by 7:45 we left Mama's, and headed home.

We got home, and all t he kitties and puppies were good, so we sat down to watch Falling Skies. I felt kinda miserable, so I didn't even write yesterday, and went to bed at about 9:30.

One thing I realized yesterday, was how much of a sacrifice it was for Brian to leave his home and his family, to come here and live with me. I had no idea how hard it actually way, but I'm beginning to see, and am going to make Brian go home every weekend, to see his family. It's just too tough not to go.

So next Saturday we are going back, because we want to be here for church on Sunday.

 

August 6, 2012 – 8:43am

    It's been a good morning. Brian and I just finished doing our stretches, and then I did my waist exercises.

    We weighed this morning, and the scale said I had gained 3 pounds, and that Brian had too. I went back and looked at my planner, to see how we had been doing, and we had not been doing so well at all.

    For 3 of the last 5 days, I ate right, and stayed at a low calorie count, but for 2, I had over 2000 calories. On top of that, we had not walked but 1 of those 5 days.

    Brian and I got in the car and discussed our backsliding, and how important it is that we walk everyday. We are not fit people, and that walking really beefs up our metabolism each day, and without it, it just sits there, so we think.

    It could also just be fluid, so when we got to Mama's this morning, we both took a fluid pill.

    We are not beating ourselves up about this, and we are far from giving up, we will never give in! This is our journey, and it is not a perfect one. We live and we learn and we grow, together in this.

    We decided, this afternoon, we are going to get back on the treadmill, and try not to miss a day, for the duration, unless one of us is sick. We have planned to walk twice tomorrow, and then weigh tomorrow afternoon, on schedule, and see what the scale says then.

    I am fighting on this. We will lose all this weight. We are learning exactly what we have to do, and not do.

    I am so disappointed in us this week. It doesn't make ANY sense!!! I mean, what was so dead gum important, that we couldn't get out of our stinking seats, and get on the treadmill ? What was so important? NOTHING!

    I was busy writing, and Brian was too busy playing his damn playstation. This isn't a freaking GAME!

    I AM PUTTING MY WHOLE HEART AND SOUL INTO THIS, and I expect the same out of Brian. We SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER!

    If it wasn't for my dang diabetes problems those 2 days, I would have had a wonderful calorie count! But that still doesn't explain why we didn't walk?

    I vow to walk everyday for the rest of my life, unless I'm sick, and Brian does too.

    It's a vow to our health, happiness, life, and to each other.

    Apparently we just weren't taking this seriously enough.

 

August 6^th, 2012-12:55 p m

    I'm a little bit apprehensive about sharing so much of myself to the public, but I would rather do that, than not do it.

    For a long time, I felt very alone, and here lately I don't feel alone at all. That could be because of the friends I've made, and the fact that they are reading this blog.

    I don't stay hyped up or excited all the time, just like today, I am more mellow than anything. I am still determined to lose the weight, and still just as driven as I was last week.

    Today, I don't feel like laughing, and I don't feel like crying. I just feel like getting it all together, and getting it done. I guess that's how Mondays are for most people. And like most people, Monday is my least favorite day.

    Today, I'm not in the mind set to explore all that there is to know about life, in general, and I don't really feel like growing today, but I know that I will, in some aspect or another.

    I'm not going looking for it, but I know and trust in the Lord, that it will happen, even if it's just a small little thing, and even the little things mean so much to me.

    And I just grew in the knowledge of myself, and who I am.

    Mama and Daddy are in the thick of it today, building an addition to their home, a Mancave for Daddy. He's going to put a pool table and who knows what else out there, and they are busy framing it up right now, and have been all morning, and it is HOT OUT THERE!

    Brian and I just ate Chef Boyardee's Spaghetti and Meatballs, and it was 240 calories a serving, so that's 480 calories, cause we split it.

    So today I've had a protein shake (340) and Meatballs (480), coffee (300) = (820). We're doing good today, and will walk this afternoon.

August 6^th, 2012-2:01pm

    I don't write about everything, there are some things in people's lives that aren't meant to write about, because they are too personal.

    One thing I did learn today, though, is how important it is that Brian and I always pray together, no matter what. We always make a point to do just that, but my prayer is that we continue to remember the Lord, together, in everything that we do, for the rest of our lives.

    Mr. Dukes came in, and he's laying down on the floor now. Mama and Daddy try to keep him out, but there's no way to keep that bull headed dog out all the time. He is really a funny puppy, and the mischievousness in his eyes cracks me up.

    This morning Brian picked out about 6 recipes out of the Low-Cal cookbook. I've got to go to Walmart, and buy all the ingredients. Almost all of them are under 400 calories, even less than that.

    I'm feeling like it's going to be a real pain to have to cook every single meal. I'm not looking forward to that, or all the dishes that we are going to be having.

    My home is a wreck, we only cleaned a couple of days last week. We have until Friday to get it cleaned, because Jennifer & Aaron Branch are coming over Sunday after church, and we are going to be in Mississippi on Saturday.

    I'd much rather just throw something out of a can on the stove, but it looks like I'm going to be cooking. There's only so many low cal things in a can.

    This means that I'm going to have to get up and get moving in the evenings, and I might even have to stay home a couple days this week. I hate doing that, because I end up on the computer Instant Messaging Brian all day, so I might as well have gone, cause I couldn't get anything accomplished, anyway.

    Yesterday, we got the cutest little travel coffee mugs from the Chevron in Delhi for $5.99. Mine is purple with pretty butterflies, and Brian's is black with a yellow and black smiley face. These were the best 5.99 purchase I've had in a long long time. I'm drinking out of mine now, and have been since yesterday.

    Oh, how I don't want to be so busy. My fear is that I might actually enjoy myself, and time will get away from me, and oh, I will have a full life. Now why would I be scared of that? Time won't go by any quicker, because the Lord is in control of time.

    Might as well be up doing something. I sit and stare at the TV while Brian is watching most days, not even watching. Most of the time I check Facebook for a while, and write a while, and then just sit, and get agitated cause I'm tired of sitting staring into space.

    I wish I liked TV, but I just can't get into it. I just can't. It makes me really mad. I can't watch movies either. Hardly ever. Brian loves tv and movies, I wish I could share that with him. Him sitting makes me want to sit.

    I tried playing playstation with him. We picked the baseball game, and I figured it out almost instantly, and got a bunch of hits. Brian was convinced that it was my controller, and kept trying to take it away, not believing what was happening. He tried to steal my controller!

    Since then, I haven't played, because he's been playing a bunch of football, and I don't know anything about football plays, or how to pick them out. Baseball, I can actually play, because I played softball, but no, I've never even played powder puff football.

    It just makes me so mad, to be up doing something, and Brian to be sitting in my chair, which he now claims, (which me and Daniel used to fight over as well J ) , watching tv and enjoying himself. But I guess I'd be up having fun doing something enjoying myself as well. HMM> makes me frustratingly angry.

    I blame it on poverty. I didn't have a tv for about 3 years there, and just listened to music all the time. Miss Rosie, my kittie, loved to listen to music with me. She was my best bud. Wish I still had that furry little bubby.

    Now I've got Mr. Sully, and his little kitty self is attached to his bed. I had no idea how much he would love it when I got it, so now I've got to buy two more, one for Peaches, who I let back in the house, and one for Maelee, who tries to steal it from Sully every once in a while. Peaches has tried too, which may be the reason Sully won't get out of his bed, so no one else can claim it.

    Miss Teensie –Cat took a nap with me today at Mama and Daddy's. She usually does. She's my cat too, I've had her for about 7 or 8 years now, but she lives with Mama&Daddy, because they love her too, and wouldn't let me take her. They say this is her house, and that's her room.

    I'm super excited for fall to get here. I can't wait to go to Natchez to Uncle David and Aunt Ann's camp! Uncle David gave us an open invitation, and I'm thinking me and Brian just might have to go down there as soon as it hits a cold snap.

    I'm going to have to get a bigger tent though, because I want one I can stand up in. But we got this great Coleman stove last year, and a really good matress, so we've got all we need, but the tent. Hopefully I can find one on sale.

    Brian and I talked about walking everyday, and made a vow to each other in the Lord's presence, that we would walk every day for at least 15 minutes as soon as we get home, me after Brian.

    I kinda want to walk my big walk first thing in the morning, but I know how hard that can be to do, because we are drinking coffee and getting ready for the day at that time, and we also like to spend a little time outside in the mornings, when it's not too hot.

    I told Brian, we are going to have to have a back up, for in case the treadmill goes out, which it shouldn't, but if it ever does, we need to have a walking video tape, or plan to spend $5.00 and go to the gym that day. If we are going out of town for some reason, we have to make sure we walk that morning, and wherever we are staying, we have to have a fitness center there, unless it's on the beach and we can walk there, for a certain amount of minutes.

    I would love to go to the beach! We are planning a cruise in December, for our anniversary, and I can't wait. I'm really really hating to spend that much money, but I know it will be so enjoyable for both me and Brian, because we haven't gotten away together since our honeymoon, which will be 3 years ago in December. So we are going to spend it, and do it.

    We found out Sambo has heartworms, but Dr. Morris said that it can be treated because there's not too many of them. In August, we are going to get him taken care of as well, because we love our Sambo. Charlie also has to be tested soon, and then we will get him taken care of as well. Sully, Maelee, and Peaches all need their feline leukemia shots, and whatever else they need, to make sure all of them stay healthy and happy.

    Having animals is so expensive! But they enrich our hearts and our lives, and make us happy, so they are very worth it, every little penny.

    We thought we were going to be able to pay off 9 of our credit debts, but with all these expenses I'm not sure we will be able to or not!

    We will do what we can though, when we can.

August 6^th, 2012- 8:15pm

    I finally went to Walmart this afternoon, and picked up some groceries.

    I ran into Kyla Branch while I was there, and I was glad, because I wanted to let someone know why we weren't at church yesterday.

    I picked up all the things on my list, and headed back to Mama and Daddy's.

    Brian was waiting on me there, and I talked to Mama for a bit. She was transferring all of Daphne's old files from her fried computer, to a flash drive.

    The building outside was coming up really fast, and it won't be long before it all gets done. It's going to be a huge addition, and there will be plenty of room for whoever wants to come on out, but that's totally up to Daddy.

    Brian and I headed home, and he unloaded the car, while I put the groceries away.

    When we got done, it was time to get on the treadmill. Brian was tired from running in and out of the house, so I volunteered to go first, and that I did.

    We watched FOX news while I walked, and it really helped pass the time.

    I walked 15 minutes, and burned around 90 calories.

    Brian got on after that, and I went into the kitchen, to get dinner started.

    We decided to cook the Sweet and Sour Chicken, and I thought about grilling it, but grilled chicken just doesn't taste good to me without ketchup, unless it's on a fire grill, so I decided to boil it.

    In about 50 minutes, dinner was done. There were 4 servings in the meal, and we left at least 2 of them in the bowl. We fixed a big bowl for each of us, but neither of us finished it off.

    I figure, we're eating new foods with our new way of thinking, so we won't eat as much. If we eat the old foods, the old way of thinking will prevail, and we will probably eat more. And who's to say the Lord didn't help us eat less?

    I just made coffee, which will be my very last thing for the day.

    Today I've had: Protein shake (340) Chef Boyardee's Spaghetti and Meatballs (400) Sweet & Sour Chicken (300) and Coffee (300) Diet Coke with Vanilla (100). Total for the day: (1440) and I walked burning 90 calories: (1350)